unseenspy | [Voice] Jay the Scavenger

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[Voice] Jay the Scavenger

[Jay wakes up, blinking as he takes note of his new Space Opera surroundings. He’s not too surprised, at least, given that the Malnosso had the courtesy to warn the residents about these changes.]

Hmm. Since when did they use automata to do their work?

Well, I suppose I can get started on these scavenger hunts.

[Acquiring some points may not be a bad idea. Anything to make his life more bearable.]

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Says the person who tried to insist that I was fifty-something years old?

[Yeah, he remembers that.]

I'm sure there are some people who would help me, but I don't really need it, so it doesn't really matter.

You're fifty-seven until you prove otherwise!!!

Now who's being the big jerk?

Still you!!!! You were a jerk from the first time we talked and now you're just a BIGGER one!

And you look like a girl so THERE!

Really? Perhaps I should insist that you look like a boy then.

[Harumph!]

Now you're just an UNORIGINAL jerk!!!!

[ She's sticking out her tongue, too. ]

So what does that make you?

Someone who TRIED to be nice to you and got jerkiness and RUDENESS in return!

Really? You were the one who got upset when I didn't remember what you wrote in your letters. So really, this was initiated by you, when I had tried to be civil.

[Seriously, he did try.]

Why do you think I wrote you all that?! Just so you could forget???

YOU started this!

I think the only reason was because that stupid rabbit would keep harassing us if we didn't write each other.

I ALSO WROTE ABOUT WHY I WROTE YOU IN MY LETTER!!!!!!

[ SHOUTING NOW. ]

I signed up for that!! I wanted to make friends and learn about people!!!!!

Well, I didn't!

[Now he's starting to pick up the volume, too.]

BECAUSE YOU'RE A JERKY JERKFACE WHO'S A JERK!!!!!! AND YOU SMELL!

[What even...?]

Well, that's original. You haven't even smelled me.

Who'd WANT to? NO ONE, that's who!

Some "penpal" you turned out to be. Now you can tell that stupid rabbit to leave me alone.

I tried. You didn't even do that!!!

Tell him yourself!

Excuse me? If I didn't try, I wouldn't have written you back at all.

Thanks for making me regret it.

You don't even remember what we wrote about! That's not trying.

And I regretted it first! You're not someone who could ever be my friend!

I knew that the first time we talked.

Because you're a jerk!

I'm not talking to you anymore. It's stupid, YOU'RE stupid, and I'm gonna be more MATURE.

Which you can't be so HA!

[ and she's out ]

[Oh boy. No one calls him stupid and gets away with it. He'll have to get back at you for that later...]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Voice] Jay the Scavenger

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